As you all may or may not know, I am currently applying to medical school. Let me just preface this entry by saying that I have no idea how the f*ck future generations are going to get in, because it is so extremely ridiculously competitive that it is making me sick (literally sick, I've been sick for weeks and I don't know how I'm going to get better anytime soon). Let me also preface this entry by saying that I am not intending to brag or boast about my current statistics--I will try to describe my situation in a discreet way so that you get the idea but I don't want to rub anything in anyone's face.
At every single step of this process, I have been worried that I wasn't doing enough, so I've been working so hard to make sacrifices or to make sure I wouldn't get f*cked. Oh, getting A-s wasn't good enough because I needed higher than my 3.7something. I'll study during a whole semester for my MCAT, and hopefully my high 30something out of 45 is good enough (actually, I thought this would end up saving my a$$). My current shadowing isn't enough, so I'll shadow overseas and somewhat ruin my family's vacation to Sri Lanka. I'll keep on researching and volunteering during the summertime, even though I've been doing it for years. I don't think three recommendation letters is enough, so I'll get six instead. I'll apply the second day that the application opens. I'll write my secondary essays within 3 days of getting them, just to be ahead of the game.
I thought I was doing great when I got 10something interview offers. I thought I was going to get into a few schools, for sure, because my whole application seemed pretty full.
Nope. I was totally wrong.
At least (thank goodness), I have gotten one acceptance. However, every other school that has gotten back to me (which is about half of the schools I have applied to, at this point) has either deferred or waitlisted me. My top three schools have deferred or waitlisted me. And after receiving notification that I have been put on one more waitlist today, I am just at my wit's end.
However, even though I'll cry about legitimate sh!t like this on and off for a few days, whether publicly or in private, I'm not the kind of person to sit around and do nothing. I called the medical admissions office of the school that just waitlisted me today. I told the woman on the phone that if there was any way that I could improve my application because I had gotten waitlisted, and that I wanted to know why I was waitlisted so I could make some changes.
Her response? "No, we won't tell you the reason you're waitlisted until you are no longer an applicant in the cycle."
WHAT. THE F*CK. I mean, I can kind of understand why they won't tell me--they have to be secretive about how they make decisions, blah blah blah. But, seriously? It's not like I haven't even started my application and that I'm trying to cheat my way through. I have applied. I have sent money. I have interviewed. I have obviously invested time into this school, and you won't even do me the decency to offer me ANY advice?! Do you even realize how f*cking UNhelpful that is? No, madam, I am currently trying to get into a medical school during THIS cycle, okay, thanks for your help.
AUGH. She was just so curt with me and I just couldn't believe it. It makes me wonder how they treat their students. I mean, at a different school, I made a very similar phone call and the woman there gave me advice on what I could do in order to enhance my application--do something worthy of an update and send a letter before this date, blah blah blah. But here? No. Nope, sorry, can't help you, bye. I felt like a door just got slammed in my face.
UGH. This whole process is so daunting and draining. I don't know how I am going to continue handling this. I do have a few schools left that I would like to go to ... but I'm waiting and I don't really have much hope. I am so nervous. I shouldn't even be in this f*cking situation in the first place, not with everything that I've done. How can I even get in to another place where I know I'd be happy? So much rage and sadness, but at this point I feel like they're two sides of the same coin of despair and doom. Le sigh.
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