How brown is brown?

I will be honest.  My boyfriend and I had been dating for a while, and we have gotten serious (and intimate).

I am so desperate for this illness that I am feeling to be anything except anxiety ... I hope that there is a medical cause behind this so that I can get that treated and begin to feel totally normal again.  The mornings are unbearable... I wake up with my heart running at 200 miles per hour, my head feels really hot (like I'm going to throw up or something), and I can't breathe.  I stand up and I almost pass out.  I feel so light headed.  Ugh, I feel terrible in the morning.

Finally, after about a week of hell, I have started to feel hungry again and I am so thankful for that feeling.  It is amazing to have an appetite and to be happy enough to eat.  I will never take hunger for granted again.

ANYWAY, because my symptoms are terrible in the morning, I entertained the idea that perhaps I could be pregnant
(even though that was statistically >90% unlikely, but whatever).  I'd honestly rather be pregnant than have an anxiety problem, no matter how terrible that sounds.  It's not that I don't value human life, and it's not like I am the biggest fan of abortion.  I would just rather have a problem that is immediately fixable than this problem that is so slow and painful.

I walked into this fancy new CVS.  It is fancy because it has an escalator (what the f*ck?!).  I take the escalator up and find myself in the 'family planning' section.  For a section that is so small, there is such a great diversity.  UGH.  There are way too many kinds of tests ... and I just want the cheapest one.  No, I do not need a fancy one that is digital and tells me in words whether I am pregnant or not.  I think I can handle reading patterns of lines, thank you.

The irritating thing is that one test cost $9, two of the same test together costs $12, and then a three pack costs $15.  How irritating.  The brown side of me wants to buy in bulk because it is WAY more cost efficient.  But the young girl side of me doesn't want to buy in bulk because she doesn't want to think she will ever have a need for them before they expire in 2013.  The pricing makes sense because bulk is cheaper ... but the difference is so huge and do I really need to be buying these in bulk?!

I bought one ... but perhaps I should have bought three ... ?  BLARGH.  HOW IRRITATING.  SO expensive.  And now I'm wondering whether there is any possibility of the test being wrong ... ? This is probably why I should have bought a multi-pack.

(For anyone who cares, it came out negative ... which made him really happy but almost made me more upset.)