Household Mathematics.

This is how math works at my house:

5 girls who eat all the time
12 glasses that are somehow ALWAYS DIRTY
0 usable forks because they're all dirty
3 pans; 1 usable pan
a bajillion other dirty dishes dispersed throughout the kitchen and family room
1 half sized portable dishwasher

After throwing some numbers around, we realize that either someone's gotta do their dishes or someone's going to get bitched at.


I remember waking up one morning, going into the kitchen to cook breakfast, and literally finding no clean dish to cook breakfast in.  I got so angry that I asked my boyfriend to help me move all of the dirty dishes from the kitchen onto the dining table (because I needed his help since there were that many dishes!).  The entire dining room table was absolutely FULL.  No space whatsoever.

I get home last, hoping my message had gotten across to someone, at least ... but all I heard was, "Why are these dishes here?  Hmm.  That's really weird."

Are you kidding?  Why do you think I put them there?  Perhaps I was trying to clear off counter space in the kitchen.  Maybe I thought it would be a funny practical joke.  Or I'm just showing everyone how disgusting I think they are being.  Whatever.  Plan B was to take the dirty dishes and just dump them onto an appropriate bed.  That one was suggested by the boyfriend, who was equally as appalled as I was.

Some more fun math:  I entered the house with 9 rolls of toilet paper.  Approximately 1.5 months have passed, and how many rolls of toilet paper do I have left?

0.

When we include the fact that there are only 1 1/2  girls in my bathroom (my roommate isn't here half the time, therefore she is counted as half a girl even though she isn't ... <3 you.)  ... this does not make any sense.  My toilet paper has been magically disappearing.

Wow.  We're terrible with math.