Not all doctors are stupid, I promise.

Hey, everyone.  It's been a while since I updated.  I hope everyone had a nice holiday.

Winter is beginning to rear its ugly head here in Michigan, and as a result people are transforming into disease carriers.  They are mercilessly spreading illness through the student population with each and every cough or sniffle that echoes through a lecture hall.  Gross.  Some illnesses are more serious than others, and the unfortunate people who happen to catch some really nasty bug have no helpful option except to drag themselves out to the doctor--a magical person in a white coat who deals out drugs and other miraculous remedies.

But what happens when whatever the doctor suggested doesn't work?

Are all landlords this ridiculous?

I know that a lot of people talk about how they hate their landlords, and I didn't know how people could be so frustrated by them until now.

I am a junior in college right now, and after living in the dorms for the past two years I decided to get a house off-campus with a bunch of my friends (who I now have come to almost hate at times, as a consequence).  Not knowing what we were really doing, we were terrible at looking for suitable houses, judging the quality of the house, as well as judging the distance from campus.

Unfortunately, we failed in doing all of these things.  Our house is OLD.  And OLD means COLD.

Driving Games

Hey fellow drivers on the road,

I would really appreciate it if you would put down that phone or burger or mirror or whatever and pay attention to your driving.

This is not a joke.  This is not a game.

Do I feel bad for you if you get into an accident because you were too busy typing a text?  I don't know.  It will honestly depend on the severity of the accident.  Sure, I will feel a bit bad for you if you actually died, partially because I don't know if people deserve death for something that stupid.  That would be totally embarrassing.  I would consider that to be a failure.

I'm not a fan of chick flicks, but this is a true story.

My professor unexpectedly ends class 10 minutes early.  I exit the building and walk through the empty campus.  Making my way to lab, I notice a man in a marine uniform standing patiently in the giant space between buildings, holding a quiet bouquet of red roses.  He stands still.

Minutes go by.

"HOORAY for skinny"

, one of my friends proudly stated on Facebook after announcing her 'diet' plans to the world:  an all liquid diet of hot tea, milk, water, and orange juice supplemented with a whole whopping two fruits a day.

Why did she feel it was necessary to starve herself?  Because she wanted to be skinny and pretty like all of the other girls wherever she is living.  She gets depressed when she sees other girls who are skinnier than her because she automatically believes thinness is related to beauty.  She somehow wanted to lose 8 pounds within less than 7 days, and honestly thought this was a good and healthy idea.

"Don't try to talk me out of this.  I'd rather be a skinny pretty than a healthy fatty."

Dear Department Store,

Get your act together, please.  Please learn how to have your clothing items properly labeled so that when I take something into the fitting room labeled 'small', it doesn't actually turn out to be a large.  Seriously.

Not only that, but sometimes you just don't carry my size period.  What is this supposed to tell me?  Do you think that girls who have my body size simply don't exist?  Fun fact: they do.  BLARRGHH.  How frustrating.  Apparently girls like me with this size in jeans and this size in bra simply do not exist.  I am in my 20s.  I am not a 12 year old.  I am not shopping in the 12 year old section.

Purple Shirts

Before anyone reads this post, please know that I do not, in any way, hate or disrespect any member of the LGBTQ community or its allies.  I do respect people regardless of their sexual orientations, and I am not trying to discriminate against them or anything like that.  I am not belittling the recent tragic suicides of those who felt life was no longer worth living because of their sexuality and society's discrepancies with that.  I am truly sorry for all of those individuals; and for those of you out there who feel that way for whatever reason it may be, know that it will get better.  I've been there too, and it does get better (even though it may take a while).  Hang in there.  I love you.  Many people do.

Real life plastic-faced barbies.

Since we're on break, I decided to take a trip back to our high school and visit some teachers.  Everything was all good and dandy with that ... but the students are something else.

I felt so utterly uncomfortable when I was around them ... they just look at me and I can feel them judging me.  Okay, so I'm a short brown girl with a huge (yet empty) backpack, rambunctious cackle, giant frizzy puffy hair, and glasses. --> NERD.

Whatever, I'd rather be a nerd than a skank.

Household Mathematics.

This is how math works at my house:

5 girls who eat all the time
12 glasses that are somehow ALWAYS DIRTY
0 usable forks because they're all dirty
3 pans; 1 usable pan
a bajillion other dirty dishes dispersed throughout the kitchen and family room
1 half sized portable dishwasher

After throwing some numbers around, we realize that either someone's gotta do their dishes or someone's going to get bitched at.

Breast Cancer Awareness? Please.

I'm sure everyone has seen that whole thing on Facebook where everyone who's a woman had changed their status to something provocative, like "I like it on the table" or "I like it in the closet" or something stupid like that.

And I'm sure that after asking around or talking to girls, people have realized that this whole thing is supposedly supposed to raise breast cancer awareness, since October is breast cancer awareness month.  Apparently women are supposed to post a status about (get this) the location of their purses.  This is connected to breast cancer awareness how?